I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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