You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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