So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A+ Viking dick
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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