I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
