You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize