Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
