kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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