THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
