Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize