I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Found your dick twin last night
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
