i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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