She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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