Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I AM VODKA MAN
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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