can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I need to align my fucking chakras
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize