i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
