Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
