last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
