her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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