i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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