She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
