Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
