I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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