I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
