what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
