yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
