thus making me awesome and them whores
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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