I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
