dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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