I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
