We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
