i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
