the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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