is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
