i don't like sucking hair
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
