Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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