Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
