I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize