i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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