Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
pray to the hookup gods
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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