You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Everyone says I win the strip club
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
