despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
