I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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