it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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