In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
