Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
