What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
