I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
