Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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