the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize