So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
