This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
