You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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