I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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