Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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