Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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