what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
