Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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