the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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