Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
