Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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