I want to make a zoo with you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
